Have mercy on your kids
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| Having some 1-1 time with Nigel |
In the Catholic church, Pope Francis has declared this year the
Year of Mercy.
What is Mercy? Is it forgiveness? Is it accepting someone’s
“sorry” and telling them it’s ok before moving on? We had a discussion in
church last week among the parents and it mainly centered around forgiveness.
I think it is more than that – and Mercy, should begin at
home. We have many chances to do that.
Firstly, Mercy is not the equivalent of Forgiveness. You can
show mercy to someone who didn’t do you any wrong. For example, a beggar on the
street, the old lady walking around the hawker centre trying to sell tissue,
the needy kids in the children’s homes and so on. Mercy is about compassion, empathy
and being human to others, the ability to understand their plight, their needs,
and then get out of your comfort zone or go out of your way to help them in
whatever way you can.
At home, we should have mercy on our children too. Surely
they are not poor or lacking in their material needs? Yes, but in today’s
society, given all the rushing around and focus on academics and activities, we
often forget about their emotional well-bring, and their inner yearning for parents
that truly care for them and, at times, can be their companions. It’s not about
giving them gadgets and toys, but more about a conversation and a listening
ear.
Remember when we were young and hated school, hated life and
had issues, which to us then seemed like big huge things that dominated out
lives? Our kids could very well be going through the same thing – which we now
brush aside as childish, frivolous and mere distractions to their academic
success? Having mercy on our kids, in my opinion, is not only trying to
understand how they are feeling in their lives (these once tiny lives which we
helped bring about), but having the patience to help them through it, speaking
to them gently and reassuringly so they understand that you care about the
details of their struggles (yes, kids have struggles) and are supportive enough
to help them through it – even though some think that children should be left
to figure out things on their own, else how would they learn?
The world is a much more complicated place from our time and
the pressures they face, from all angles are very real and would probably break
us now, as adults.