In kids we trust
So you can't be keeping your eye on the youngsters all the time right? Very often, you have to ask them questions and believe what they tell you. Do you have problems with that? Do you think your children lie to you more often than they tell the truth? First, there is one thing you need to know.
Everyone lies.
Your kid might be have the face of an angel growing up. And in your heart, you really believe that this child is truly the special gift from God, the one who will never ever lie in his entire life. His innocence will remain with him as he grows into adulthood and beyond. This child is special.
I have news for you. Everyone thinks the same of kids - that is until they start learning about the world around them. They start picking up skills - let's call them "life-skills". I'm not saying lying is a good skill to have in your life - but as we adults know, it is an important part of daily life. Here are some scenarios where a child might have to lie.
Without knowing it, we've skilled them up.
Back to the topic of trusting your kids. If you keep doubting them and asking them, "Are you sure? I know you're lying. Tell me the truth." What we are inadvertently saying is I don't trust you as a person, I've stopped believing in you. In addition, you're also slowing chipping away at whatever innocence they have left, opening the door of pretense and falsehood to them, saying that there is that possibility of lying (that you might not have taken this time), and perhaps next time, they might give it a go.
Sometimes I think it is alright to play the innocent fool to show them you trust them. But that is only good as long as it doesn't backfire.
Everyone lies.
Your kid might be have the face of an angel growing up. And in your heart, you really believe that this child is truly the special gift from God, the one who will never ever lie in his entire life. His innocence will remain with him as he grows into adulthood and beyond. This child is special.
I have news for you. Everyone thinks the same of kids - that is until they start learning about the world around them. They start picking up skills - let's call them "life-skills". I'm not saying lying is a good skill to have in your life - but as we adults know, it is an important part of daily life. Here are some scenarios where a child might have to lie.
- To prevent a bully from stealing money from them - "My parents didn't give me money today. They always forget. That's why I'm so skinny."
- To get a better seat in class nearer to the board because his parents said it is better to sit in the front - "I can't see from the back. My eyesight is bad."
- To return a relatively blank donation card to the teacher - "My dad lost his job and my mum says we have to eat white rice with sauce for the next few months."
Without knowing it, we've skilled them up.
Back to the topic of trusting your kids. If you keep doubting them and asking them, "Are you sure? I know you're lying. Tell me the truth." What we are inadvertently saying is I don't trust you as a person, I've stopped believing in you. In addition, you're also slowing chipping away at whatever innocence they have left, opening the door of pretense and falsehood to them, saying that there is that possibility of lying (that you might not have taken this time), and perhaps next time, they might give it a go.
Sometimes I think it is alright to play the innocent fool to show them you trust them. But that is only good as long as it doesn't backfire.