Getting to know you: Part 5: Making Friends with Their Friends

The day that the Civic District was coloured White and Blue

As you might already know, your children have friends. Some of them are good friends, some not so good. They also have best friends. But as you might also know, best friends do change quite regularly, even BFFs (Best Friends Forever) could last for a day or two before someone else comes in to take that place - I sometimes wonder if there is a backstory of betrayal and backstabbing going on. I doubt so, these are still young kids trying to figure out who's friendly and who not, who can be relied on and who's just taking advantage of you. I say, let the BFF merry-go-round carry on! It is, after all, part of growing up and social development.

What is more important, I think, is trying to get involved in your child's social circles. Locally, this is known as being a kay-poh. When you were growing up, you might have know a few friends with really busy-body parents - your own parents might even have been the ones, but probably not, it tended to be someone else's parents normally. But you know what? Now you get to be that parent(s)! Suddenly in your mind, it feels right - you try to forget the embarrassment that you felt as a kid when your parents tried to mingle with your group and instead, turn up the cool factor hoping that you don't come across as an awkward uncle/auntie trying to be hip. Once you're an adult, you can shed all sense of pride and just do whatever you want. I wonder if my folks felt like that.

So you ask these friends silly questions like - What is your name? Are you married? What is your favourite song? And they look at you weird. In their heads they are thinking, Are you for real? Apparently no other adult has asked them such strange questions and you get to be the first one whom they get to have a serious, but strange, conversation with. But ask away and show your kids that you are interested in who they hang out with. Also show their friends that your kids have a cool dad/mum that would be there to back them up when things get rough - having big muscles doesn't hurt too.