Slowly letting go

Children are like kites.

When they are very small, you hold them close. So close that there is almost no string between your hand and the tip of the kite. Gentle breeze or strong wind, nothing could shake them loose. You hold their hands tight, so afraid to let them go.

As they grow, the kite string needs to get longer. You let them go on little assignments - to get a napkin, order a buger or even make a trip to the washroom on their own. However, you keep one eye on them in the distance, to make sure they are safe. At some point, you might even give them a phone to call you and let you know where they are. Darn it, they are growing up and seem to be leading their own experiences of life.

We haven't reached the next stage yet and it is going to be difficult. Nigel, being the oldest, is going to hit certain milestones first and we need to let that kite fly. If we hold it too tight, we risk one of two things. We either form a boy who is overly-dependent, overly-protected or worse, we delay the creation of a monster building up inside who will go bezerk at his first taste of freedom and take everything to the extreme: an adult who has no self-control, no perspective on the balances of life.

I think the aim is to let the string go at a pace that nurtures a maturing child, but the string has be let go if we like it or not. Each child grows to be their own person and suppressing that will only create resentment, frustration and possibility stunted emotional and intellectual growth.

Now who says I can't use big words?