Rolling around restaurants
Our children just can't keep still. Sitting on their backsides for an extended (or even short) period of time will result in extreme fidgetiness (I've confirmed, that is not a word, can you see the red underline?) and backside itchiness (that IS a word).
The recent problems we've had while eating in an organised food establishment.
- Instead of sitting down and eating their food, they end up walking/rolling around to see if the others have finished their food, look out the windows/doors, ask questions, look for money on the floor. We tell them to quickly sit down and finish their meal before they can do whatever they want.
- Once they finish their food, they immediately stand up and end up walking/rolling around to see if the others have finished their food, look out the windows/doors, ask questions, look for money on the floor. We tell them to quickly sit down and wait for the others to finish before they can do whatever they want.
- Once everyone has finished, they immediately stand up and end up walking/rolling around to see if the others have finished their food, look out the windows/doors, ask questions, look for money on the floor. We tell them it is time to go home.
I have no problem with them looking for money on the floor, in fact anything that adds to our family wealth is a welcomed activity. But the rolling around in a place where people (waiters, other customers, other children wearing Heelies) are constantly moving around, some carrying trays of hot food, some carrying ice-cold drinks, some carrying money, is not a good idea. Especially when you've learnt to travel at 20kmh wearing shoes with wheels attached underneath.
Shoes with wheels attached underneath - the person who thought of that is a freaking madman (or madwoman, you never know). Historically, short humans running around below your line of sight is an ordeal to many, especially if you are carrying trays of hot food, ice-cold drinks or money. He (or she) thought: Dammit, this world would be that much more exciting, more vibrant if we could have them rolling around at six times the speed. The idea was: if you make them go fast enough, they will become just a blur and possibly space-warp into a different dimension and the people of that world can deal with them. Maybe if they reach Mach 18 they would be able to pass through objects hence avoiding the "crash" issue which the humans of this planet constantly have to deal with regarding short humans with wheels under their feet. So he (or she) attached those damn rollers to the underside of some innocent shoes and quietly sat in a mall, sniggering to himself quietly while watching kids zoom around in-between confused adults who were walking in their random directions at varying speeds. Once in a while a slamming sound in heard, an evil look, an "Oh my!", a scream while someone lands on their backside while their purse falls scattering all their coins on the floor.
You might even hear a perfectly rational adult asking the parents of those now-in-a-blur kids: "Where did you buy those wheel shoes from?", and we have to tell them the truth because we want to average out the blame and not be alone in handling the lawsuits - all the while knowing that we are adding to the chaos and mayhem.