How our children can become professional footballers

If you watch enough football, you'll see how easily a professional athlete can fall over, scream in pain, and complain to the referee that an opponent pushed/kicked/tapped/tickled/said funny rhymes at him. And then, promptly runs off (with a big smile) after the referee awards the other player a yellow card.

Our children are exactly like that.

Everyday there are the shouts to the referee: "Mummy, Amber hit me, smack her!!" "Daddy, Gege pushed me, do you want me to get the cane for you?"

And there's the hollering in pain, the reaction to being shoved with a tiny push of a finger, for enhanced dramatic effect. It's becoming clear to me now - it's actually a big plan to get the other person punished. There's really no end in the complaints you can have about your siblings and the many reasons why they should be hit with a cane.

After that, you pick yourself up, try to wipe that grin off your face, and get back into the game. Just like football.