Age-old Duality

As a child, you're often torn between ideas. One moment you're told you're big and mature and should behave and achieve certains things. The very next, you're small and should behave yet stay away from other things. Essentially, just behave.

But I feel confused for the kid - or am I just being difficult and manipulative in different situations? When it suits me as an adult, you're a big boy - other times, keep quiet because you're small and don't understand. It isn't fair to Nigel, I know. However, it's quite a challenge to be consistent wih such things and yet keep the boat sailing smoothly. Parents accept this duality, but I suspect we all feel guilty and just as perplexed as our children.

But they learn how to abuse this. Nigel can morph effortlessly between levels of maturity depending on the mess he gets into or how lazy he feels. When he wishes to get involved in something a bit beyond his ability, all of a sudden it's "Daddy/Mummy, I'm big, let me to this ...". At other times when he's doesn't want to get his hands dirty or has done something naughty he's "still small". Sometimes he's somewhere in between in order to get the best of both worlds. Sneeky little kid.

And we think we're in charge.